Firstly I’d like to wish
you all a very happy and peaceful 2003.
Having said that, I think
now is an appropriate time to report our first piece of news. That Rebecca
successfully achieved her new
year’s resolution of 2002.
That is, she wasn’t sick at all this year! Several times through 2002 when the
dreaded lurgie hit the Hathaway household, I advised her that she wasn’t to
regard it as a personal failing if indeed she was poorly. However, in pure Bec
style, she was as determined as ever and went to great lengths to achieve her
aim, at one point arranging to go to a friend’s house rather than home ‘to the
sick house’.
The holidays
seem such a long way away now, but we
had a lovely summer and enjoyed many a good day out to the London Eye, the
beach or Plumberow Mount (!).
We took mum and dad to the London
Eye late last year. (Yes, I wrote a Newsletter in April
but didn’t make reference to the London Eye in that one. And as I haven’t much
to say today….) Before being allowed onto the Eye we had to pass through
several Security checks. One security guard waving a light sabre was convinced
that Carl had something in his rucksack and more than once rummaged through the
bag. Carl who hadn’t packed the bag called to me up ahead whether he was
carrying any weapons he should know about. How we laughed. Eventually and
somewhat reluctantly, the security man gave up his search and allowed us onto
the pod. Half way through the trip, and at the very top, Laura decided she
wanted to get off. Not a wise thing to tell a mother who is afraid of heights
and having to sit down. I thought it would be ok and of course it was, but I
still had to make several contingency plans in my head in case of
a) A breakdown of the wheel necessitating an air rescue;
b) Sudden collapse of the wheel causing it to fall
sideways into the Thames – if it had fallen the other way of course, we would
all have died an immediate crushing death; or
c) Terrorist attack.
It was at this point that I remembered the sharp
knife that I had packed in the picnic bag to slice an apple for the girls!
Another Sunday Carl and I
took the girls for a trip to the
Science Museum. 5 floors of
fascinating exhibits recording man’s history and invention, including many
specialist exhibits for which you have to pay extra. One of these – the
Grossology Exhibition was featured on Blue Peter in which the girls could
follow the routes around the body, climb up scabby walls and slide down a nose
like snot! Another area showed a film narrated by Robert Winston on a movie
screen the size of five double decker buses! Fairly impressive by anyone’s
standards, I think you’ll agree. We stopped briefly for refreshment but
basically walked until our legs dropped off and we had to put them in a carrier
bag to take home! At the end of the day, tired and exhausted, we asked the girls what their
favourite part of the day had been. Charlotte’s reaction “ I really liked the
Rolos,” was a trifle disappointing to say the least!
More recently, Rebecca
helped a stray dog. We had spotted him trotting up the road on our way home
from school. Bec’s friend Melissa was with us, and by the time we had unloaded
all children and clobber from the car, the dog who had a gammy leg, had arrived
at our place. I encouraged the girls to leave him alone, which they didn’t, and
even persuaded them to take some newspapers to our neighbour in a bid to
separate them from the dog, which by now had been called ‘Stray’.
Moments later the girls returned, gleeful that Stray had followed them to and
from Beverley’s house. I left them to it and went inside.
Soon I became aware of more
voices outside and I looked out to see a group of Greensward lads talking to
the girls. And then, would you Adam and Eve it, who should turn up but my Dad.
And he started talking about ringing kennels and I said I wouldn’t. Then the
boys told me that the dog was called
Harry and they wanted to
take him into the woods. Well, I wasn’t born yesterday. Anyone could see that
this dog was no Harry and I told them to go on their way, which they didn’t.
And so I gave in, looked up the phone number of the Council and rang. They
arranged with a kennel in Thundersley to come and pick up the dog but would I
keep it in the mean time. And so we
took Stray into the back garden and
Bec and Melissa said they would look after him. And they did. Finding pieces of
carpet for him to lie on, fetching milk and chocolate digestives for him to
eat, and throwing tennis balls across the garden for him to stare at!
Eventually the lady from
the kennels arrived and immediately
assessed that Lucky,
as he was now called, was a friendly dog, which is just as well under the
circumstances. And so we saw Lucky to the van and the girls came inside to
write a report which they read out to their class the next day at school. And
that would have been that really: the girls having done a good deed.
But that evening Carl
received a phone call from Lucky’s owner who asked if he could come round and
thank the girls. And he did. The following evening, the gentleman and his
partner came to the house. He explained that the dog had got out through a neighbours
garden where some fence panels had been blown out. The dog was his inheritance
and he so grateful to have him back he gave a bumper bag of sweets to Bec and
Melissa. And a fiver each! He said the dog meant much more to him than ten
pounds, and as he spoke the tears welled up in his eyes. Aaah…
School has been good for
the older girls. Or, at least the older girls have been good at school. At the
last open evening Rebecca’s teacher informed me that she ‘does have a
personality’. I wasn’t sure what she told the other parents!
Both had new teachers in
September. Rebecca’s teacher is a supply teacher and is good at Art.
Charlotte’s teacher wears ‘quite long trousers, fitted tops and pointy shoes.’
Not only does Charlotte regularly report on Miss Linton’s clothes but
occasionally sketches them as well. Both had such lovely reports that I offered
to buy them something ‘for school’ as a prize. Rebecca requested a new lunch
box or a flexi ruler. Charlotte said
she needed new black high-heeled
boots. Assertive as ever, I put my “foot down with a firm hand” (M. A. Box production of
Sound of Music, 2000) and Rebecca and Charlotte got exactly what they
wanted!! More embarrassing was Charlotte in the queue at the shoe shop
clutching her boots, grinning – and Charlotte can GRIN - saying unashamedly,
‘my dream has come true’.
Raving nitwit are the words that spring to mind when I think
of Charlotte. She loves making us laugh whether it is by dancing a cha cha cha
with a pair of nail clippers, or by galloping through the house on her ‘trusty
horse’. Much of course, is not deliberate. In the summer she had to look away
from the jar on the window sill because the shoot growing from a runner bean
was putting her off her food! She recently had a habit of thinking that she’d
swallowed things that she’d lost. All sorts of things, but especially teeth and
rings. Inevitably she hadn’t swallowed them and they would turn up somewhere or
other, but that didn’t seem to curb her worry.
At this point, having
thoroughly ridiculed my middle daughter who ‘people’ say is a lot like me (!),
I am compelled to relate a sad tale
of smugness and stupidity that happened to me
this July.
I had been suffering from
a poorly mouth, and after several days of discomfort I made an appointment at
the dentist for the following Tuesday. The dentist examined my mouth and asked
me about the pain, which was, by that time much better. Ah, he said, looking
into my mouth, the tooth at the top has been rubbing against the tooth at the
bottom causing some discomfort. That can be easily sorted. And he told me how
he could use a grinder to grind down the tooth at the top (several
times, if necessary) to stop the rubbing. “Is it just this side?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. And after a good bout of grinding,
during which he ground down the side
of my poor poor mouth leaving it sore and dripping with blood, I was fit to
leave!
‘The cost!’ I thought with
horror as I left the waiting room.
Mum’s friends spend hundreds of pounds at the dentist, and I was a
trifle concerned at the cost incurred by this visit. £1.84 said the
child behind the counter. I questioned the amount as I didn’t want to look a
fool! “£1.84” she said, “for some grinding?” “Yes,” I said, “I thought it would
be more, that’s all.” And she advised me not to complain and I walked smugly
from the dentist into the village. And whom should I meet, but the Church
secretary. How’s your mouth? Guess how much it cost? It never costs less than
twenty pounds. Chat chat chat. Smug smug smug. And then I got into the car and
started home.
It was at this point that
my tongue decided to brave the sore and bruised mouth and do a little
investigative work. I remember thinking that it was strange my tongue wouldn’t
reach the ground tooth, because of course it hadn’t left it alone the
previous week when I had been in such pain! And then I realised what I’d done.
I’d had the wrong side ground down! A perfectly good tooth had suffered
at the hands of the very nice lunatic dentist! To make matters worse, I had an
appointment the following week to check things out. By this time the summer
holidays had begun and I had the girls with me. As we walked into the
reception, Bec said ‘Mummy you had the wrong tooth ground, didn’t you?’ and I
looked at her fiercely and said ‘Don’t you dare mention that again in
here!” And she didn’t. And the dentist asked me how I was getting on. And I
said it was much better!! And was there anything else he could do for me? And I
said No, thank you very much. And that was that. Oh the shame!
Laura’s speech still leaves a
little to be desired. She’s still quite economical with her use of letters
especially at the beginning of words. This was highlighted quite
recently on a visit to our new church down the road. Obviously, Laura is new to
the group at Hawkwell Baptist Church, but it still made laugh when she proudly
emerged from the Sparklers room with a Christmas card addressed to Mummy,
Daddy, Rebecca and Isaac. Love from Lauren. In true Laura style though, (stubborn
as a mule and ever so slightly obsessive ) she hasn’t let me tell the lady
who takes Sparklers that her name is Laura. And as she is happy to go into the
group on her own I haven’t interfered.
Those
astute readers amongst you i.e. those who haven’t actually nodded off, will
have noted the phrase ‘ our new Church’ in the last paragraph. Sadly, Mum, Sue,
Linds. and myself have left our Church in Hockley (yes, the one we were
Christened, confirmed, married and had our own children Christened in) and have
been worshipping elsewhere. We’ve been doing the rounds over the Christmas period, but I
think myself and the girls will almost certainly continue to attend the Hawkwell Baptist Church http://www.hawkwellbaptistchurch.co.uk/ at the end of Rectory Avenue. Recently rebuilt due
to asbestos in the walls, the Church building itself is smashing and the people
have been friendly and welcoming from the word go! The minister, Carl, plays
the trumpet during Sunday service and on Christmas Day proudly showed off his
favourite Christmas present, a video driving game which he loaded on to the
overhead projector system and proceeded to demonstrate during the service! Can
you believe it? When he crashed as he did a couple of times, the congregation
made ‘Ooooo’ and ‘Aaaahh’ noises! More scarily, a week previous a car
registration had appeared on the screen asking the owner to move their car
immediately! How embarrassing. I looked around to see if I could spot anyone
going red but either they had already left or they were made of sterner stuff
than me!
Mind
you, this doesn’t beat Laura’s Nipple
fondling incident at the Christmas Eve service of Nine Lessons and Carols. Our friends
Lucy and Richard had visited and left at 6 o’clock. I decided that I would like
to attend this service as I would only be five minutes late. Of course, all
three girls wanted to come and so we made ‘an entrance’ into a packed Church
ten minutes late, arriving during the first reading. Laura wasn’t at all
bothered that they’d started, but was concerned that her trousers should
be lying correctly
over her boots, her sleeveless vest was ok and her new hairband just right.
Much hushed discussion and shuffling about – I had incorrectly assumed that
there were three spare seats in the middle of a row, not realising that one of
these spaces was not a seat, but in fact a bin - very amusing,
especially to the likes of Charlotte – we half settled down. It was then that I spotted Sue across the
aisle, childless (shocking!), sitting next to a spare seat! I saw my
chance and took it, whispering to Laura, ‘Look! There’s Auntie Sue over there!’
It worked! More hushed discussion and shuffling and she was gone! She sat
nicely throughout the service although towards the end I did notice that she
was sitting rather too contentedly on Sue’s lap, with her vest slowly riding up
under her arm pits. Moments later, and her eyes were shutting as (horror of
horrors) she began fondling her nipples! Round and round, eyes
slowly closing. I
wondered how many others had noticed!
Laura
is four on Saturday and has grown up a fair bit over the last year (I can hear
Sue laughing). She has achieved her first swimming award for swimming ‘5 metres
with a buoyancy aid’! Her taste in music is varied, from Atomic Kitten to
Eminem. On Christmas Eve we were walking back to mum’s from a visit to the park
when suddenly she whacked me. I looked down to see why she had become so
violent and she looked up and said “I’m ‘orry Mumma. I didn’t mean to hurt
you-ou. I didn’t make you cry….”
Carl
Carl
is still working at BT and visiting the gym several times a week. It is of
course footy time of year and we’ve had to endure the thrill of the FA cup
draw. Like the famous Slough Town v Harrogate Railway match. Although winning
this one, the ‘Railway boys’ as you probably know, got knocked out in the next
round!
Of
course, Carl is by far superior to anyone in this house in every possible way.
And as is so often the case in these circumstances small things done by us
menials infuriate him. Like the opening of cereal packets. Many a time he has
asked me to show the girls the correct way to open a cereal box. You can
imagine my reaction. You can only begin to imagine my thoughts when I
came downstairs
to breakfast one day to find him sellotaping
a cereal packet because in his very cross words “It is all cracked and broken.”
Unbelievable.
But then he is, of course married to, in his words, a ‘sad case.’
This
slur upon my personality arose because of a programme Carl was watching about
Karl Marx on BBC Four. I really did try and concentrate but it was SO bloody
boring I just couldn’t stand it! My ignorance obviously caused some irritation,
and Carl responded the only way he knows how – by calling me a ‘sad case.’ I
asked him to justify his comment to which he replied “you’ve never eaten a
scab, or chewed the dead skin on your feet.” If indeed, this is the criterion
for a ‘sad case’ then, alas, I am guilty!
The
Infallible One did prove his humanity the other week when ordering our
Christmas fayre from Tesco. On arriving at the house it was noted that the 8
loose mushrooms that Carl believed he had ordered were ‘not available’ and no
substitutions had been made. Carl therefore signed the form and we began to
unpack. On closer inspection it became apparent that only 2 parts of the order
were unavailable, but the other 6 packs of 500 grams were in stock. So
that we received 6 kg of mushrooms instead of the 8kg we ordered!!
On
a purely practical note, the study floor (hopefully) is sinking, (rather than
the whole house, that is!) The house is still under guarantee and the man from
HSBC is coming round for a cuppa in January.
In
some respects 2002 for me, has been a ‘rollercoaster year.’ On the down side, the business with the
Church has been sad and at times all-consuming. And then there have been
personal problems which have also taken their toll. However, like the Queen (!)
my faith is strong and there have been extremely good times this year as well
for which I am thankful.
Here
are some of the most enjoyable bits from 2002:
Jeanine
and Andrews’ wedding in April. Like Gavin and Pings’ wedding last year, we were able to
spend time with family, making wedding arrangements and spending other people’s
money!
Ioan
Grufford
(as Hornblower), Hugh Dancy and The Office on BBC2.
The
friends from schools (Primary and Secondary), college and university who I have
met up with (either literally, or by email) in 2002. It has been immensely
re-assuring to find one’s friends as mad, unfunny, intolerant, annoying,
inebriated and irresponsible as ever! (You can work out which one(s) you are!)
My
new gel filled bra in which I exude confidence.
Bunda
Evans
I
have a new friend, Bunda, in prison in Zambia who (along with his family) has
experienced troubles that most of us will thankfully never dream of. His
friendship has been a blessing and his faith unshakeable. Hopefully, 2003 will prove to be
a much more positive year for Bunda and his family.
In
my new gel filled bra armed with my ‘What Not To Wear’ book I would like to
wish you all God’s blessing in 2003.
Ever the ‘sad case’
X
P.S.
Carl has just asked whether I am nearly finished on the PC as he wants to email
KP nuts! He told me that he found a small orange plastic frog in his peanuts
this evening and he was going to write and complain. Spookily I spotted the
girls earlier with a small plastic orange frog! Hmmmm………